Vintage 80's YSL Black Pumps for 99 cents. (Plus $11 shipping, but I can deal.)
I considered not giving you the link, but I decided that that's pretty jerkish. Click.
Thankyou, Sea of Shoes, for inspiring me to peruse ebay.
Although I'm convinced that it was meant to be. 99 cents, my size, and they're even residing in Herndon, VA, which is where I spent 4 years of my childhood.
G'night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite.